How to Stop the Power Struggles Before They Start
Power struggles aren’t about control—they’re about kids feeling unsure if they’ll get the help they need.
✨ Instant Strategy: Instead of debating, offer clear options for help and set boundaries around availability:
“I can help for five minutes. Do you want my help, or do you want to try first and ask later?”
“Do you want me to just listen, or do you want advice?”
🛠 Proactive Tool: Teach kids to recognize when they need support and when they can problem-solve independently.
This helps them develop self-awareness and trust in their ability to handle challenges.
🧠 The Neuroscience:
The brain craves predictability and autonomy. When kids aren’t sure whether they’ll get help or how long it will last, their amygdala (the brain’s stress center) stays on high alert, leading to frustration and pushback. Offering clear choices about how and when they receive support helps activate the prefrontal cortex, improving emotional regulation and reducing power struggles.
