Dad Brain? You’re Not Alone — Here’s What Helps
“I just want to help, but I never seem to do it the right way.”
“By the time I get home, I’m exhausted—and then I feel guilty for not being more present.”
“I’m not even sure what my role is anymore.”
If you’ve ever had those thoughts, you’re not alone. Dad Brain is real. It’s the mental load, emotional swirl, and invisible expectations that Dads carry every day—often without a place to name it, let alone deal with it.
And here’s the thing: it’s not weakness. It’s biology, culture, and unmet needs—and it can be changed.
Let’s break it down.
What is Dad Brain?
Dad Brain is what happens when you’re constantly toggling between roles—provider, protector, partner, and parent—without clear instructions, feedback, or rest.
It shows up as:
• Irritability (especially after work or transitions)
• Emotional shutdown (you feel nothing or everything)
• Disconnection (from your partner, kids, or even yourself)
• Over-functioning (working more to feel “enough”)
• Under-functioning (checking out when you feel criticized or lost)
It’s not because you’re failing. It’s because your nervous system is maxed out—and you haven’t been given tools that work for you.
✨ Instant Strategies:
You don’t need a meditation pillow or 90 minutes of silence (though, no judgment if you want that too).
Here are 3 tools you can use right now:
The “Name It to Tame It” Trick
When you feel your fuse getting short, say (in your head or out loud): “This is me feeling overwhelmed. That’s okay.”
It signals to your brain: we’re safe—and brings your prefrontal cortex back online.
10-Second Grounding Reset
• Plant both feet on the ground.
• Breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 6.
• Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth (it helps activate calm).
That’s it. Do it before walking in the door, before responding to a tantrum, or when you want to react but know you’ll regret it.
The Post-Work “Decompression Delay”
Before walking in from work (or logging off), take 5 minutes alone to reset your nervous system.
Play music, stretch, sit in silence, breathe.
It’s not selfish—it’s neurologically essential for co-regulation.
🛠 Proactive CAMP Approach for Dads:
At CAMP, we use a simple but powerful model to help families shift from chaos to connection.
Here’s how it applies to you:
C – Calm & Connect
• Your nervous system sets the tone. When you’re regulated, you help your kids feel safe—no perfect words required.
• Want a mantra? Try this: “I don’t need to fix everything. I just need to be present.”
A – Assess Needs
• That tantrum? That fight with your partner? That shutdown you’re feeling?
• It’s all rooted in unmet needs—for connection, autonomy, or purpose.
• Ask yourself: What need of mine is going unmet right now? What about theirs?
M – Mine for Strengths, Passions & Values
• You’re not just “helping” at home—you bring your own skills and values.
• Maybe you bring humor, structure, patience, or adventure. That’s your parenting superpower—own it.
• Ask your partner: What do you think the kids get most from me?
P – Propose a Plan
• Want to feel more confident as a Dad? You need a plan you actually want to follow.
Try this:
• Pick one daily rhythm that’s yours (e.g., morning walks, bedtime story, Saturday pancakes).
• Decide how you’ll reconnect with your partner (10-minute debrief, weekly check-in, flirty texts).
• Learn one CAMP tool a week together—it’s built to work for both of you.
🧠 The Neuroscience:
Let’s get nerdy (briefly):
• Your brain is wired to detect threats and solve problems. When your kid is screaming or your partner is overwhelmed, your amygdala (alarm system) lights up. You might go into fix-it mode, fight-or-flight, or freeze.
• If you weren’t taught how to name emotions or respond to them growing up, your prefrontal cortex (the part that helps you reflect, regulate, and stay calm) might go offline.
• You’re not broken. Your brain is doing exactly what it was trained to do.
But that also means it can be retrained.
Final Word:
You’re Not a Backup Parent. You’re a core part of your child’s emotional world. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be present, reflective, and willing to grow.
And hey, Mom Brain and Dad Brain are both real—but they don’t have to live on opposite teams. When you both understand your needs and triggers, you become a parenting team—not competitors.
So here’s your reminder: You’re not too late. You’re not doing it wrong. You’re a Dad. And you’re growing.
Welcome to CAMP. We’ve got your back.
Why everything you’ve tried isn’t working:
5 parenting shifts that actually help.
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This is just a small piece of what you will learn in the CAMP online course to manage challenging behavior in children.
